Review of The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants, directed by Derek Drymon

If you’re new here, and stumbled upon this blog through the mythical powers of the Internet, welcome! I know a lot of visitors to my website are people who randomly come upon this website through search engines like Google, but I also do have a lot of visitors who come back. Regardless: my name is Ashley, and I started this blog in order to keep track of everything I’m coming across in the world.

I recently started an 8-5 job and have been trying to reclaim my sanity and hobbies by finding fun things to do on the weekends and after work, and one of my saving graces truly has been my AMC A List subscription. I’ve always had one on and off throughout graduate school, and I recently reclaimed my subscription after a brief stint of thinking I was going to move to India (long story).

Sometimes the movies I really want to see aren’t included on AMC A List, which is sad, but I accept the reality of the situation. I get a ton of use out of this subscription despite that. On a slightly different note though, I used to work professionally as a film critic, which is very much a dying career, and when I would go to the film festivals I watched everything that really excited me.

A List is also an opportunity for me to go outside of my comfort zone. Recently, at the time of typing this, I’ve seen a handful of movies I don’t think I would have ever seen if I had to actually pay for them. I see so many movies throughout different states on A List that I basically make money off of AMC, rather than spending money. I have an entire spreadsheet for it.

SpongeBob: Search for Squarepants was one of those movies. Under normal circumstances I would have never paid for this movie, but because I had the subscription I felt comfortable enough to go in and see it, especially considering my income for things beyond the subscription is a bit limited right now. There were a lot of people in our screening, which was surprising for a cold Sunday afternoon.

Let’s get into the review! I don’t want to ramble too much in the introduction.

In an effort to become a “big guy,” SpongeBob summons a cursed pirate who wants to use him to break his curse.

At the start of the movie, SpongeBob wakes up and discovers he has grown magically overnight, as he is now 36 clams tall. When he prepares for the day and steps outside, he tells Patrick, and the two celebrate and decide to ride the Big Guy Rollercoaster because SpongeBob now can do so.

But when he sees the size and scope of it, he shrivels in fear and decides to cop out by telling Patrick that he promised Mr. Krabs he would go on it. They head to the Krabby Patty, where Mr. Krabs tells SpongeBob that when he was a young man, he went around with The Flying Dutchman and was a swashbuckler as a young man.

This inspires a dejected SpongeBob, and when Mr. Krabs’s swashbuckler certificate gets sucked into the bathroom vents, Patrick and he go after it. There, among Mr. Krabs’ room of goods, he finds the pipe to summon The Flying Dutchman. The Flying Dutchman is a cursed pirate from above who has to roam the Underworld with his crew until a pure soul can free him.

When he sees SpongeBob, he thinks he’s found that soul. He tells SpongeBob he can become a swashbuckler and Big Guy by joining his crew, and convinces SpongeBob and Patrick to do just so. But he has ulterior motives: only an innocent soul can break his curse, and it means switching out the curse to them.

They get onto his ship just as Mr. Krabs and Squidward watch them go through the portal to the Underworld, and Mr. Krabs recruits Gary to join them on a journey to save our beloved duo. As the ship navigates the Underworld, SpongeBob has his doubts about being brave enough, but then they arrive in time for the Challenge Zone. Once they reach the top, The Flying Dutchman will be free from the curse as SpongeBob blows into the pipe.

Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Gary the Snail are hot on their trail though when they find their own portal in Bikini Bottom High to the Underworld. They avoid the monsters and sirens thrown their way as SpongeBob channels swashbuckler Mr. Krabs for advice on how to get through the challenges. Barb and The Flying Dutchman also work to separate SpongeBob and Patrick as this happens, as they see Patrick as a liability for their plans.

SpongeBob successfully reaches the top as Mr. Krabs and crew arrive to stop them, but he ignores Mr. Krabs’s warnings and blows the horn. The Flying Dutchman is turned back into a human and departs for the surface as SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are turned into spirits, but Barb, the Dutchman’s former second hand and best friend (who was actually used by him) tells them that the last chance is to break the pipe before sundown.

Mr. Krabs summons his three-headed seagull and departs for the surface with SpongeBob. They find the Dutchman in Santa Monica (which is obviously just a green screen, adding to the “what the heck” factor in all of this), but they are unable to stop him.

The Dutchman taunts them with a rollercoaster, and SpongeBob learns to face his fears. With Mr. Krabs and his bubble blowing ability, he gets the pipe back and manages to break it, successfully breaking the curse. The Dutchman finds his betrayed crew angry at him and is forced onto kitchen duty.

Back home, SpongeBob is presented a certificate by Mr. Krabs and everyone hugs—or, well, everyone but Squidward because they forgot him in the Underworld.

Overall Thoughts

I never watched SpongeBob as a kid, so some of the references went over my head, but maybe I would have enjoyed this more if I were a kid. I found myself rolling my eyes more than I should have, and I thought the scenes that were set above the surface were actually horrendous in terms of quality.

I don’t regret seeing this, but I’d like to never think about it again. That’s how I’ll describe it. This review will exist as a time machine for my thoughts, but in the end it simply wasn’t my taste.

All in all, I would say the best part about this movie was the advert for Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles that played before it. I liked how it roasted ChatGPT and AI systems for taking intellectual properties and people, especially when businesses take from others in order to make a profit. It was a bit sad that the ending continues the cycle though.

Go see this one if you want, but don’t go with high expectations if you have no idea what you’re going into beyond this summary. Movies are meant to be experienced though, not read about!

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