Review of Wonka, directed by Paul King

There was a hot moment that whenever I went to my local movie theater, as I have a subscription, I could not escape the Wonka ad. And from the very beginning, I thought that this movie looked absolutely terrible, and I had no interest in seeing it. Timothee Chalamet singing? No thank you.

I held out for a while when this came out, especially because I hate going to the movies when it’s crowded. Blockbusters usually don’t interest me on the weekends because of the crowds, and people have been getting so much worse lately.

Talking, maximum phone brightness, the whole nine yards have been spotted in theaters during the past year. After COVID, it’s like no one knows how to act anymore.

But because everyone and their mother in my life was going crazy for Wonka and Chalamet, I ended up being dragged to see this movie anyways. And man, I’m glad I have a subscription and didn’t pay anything (I’m very much net positive from how many movies I see in a month), because I would’ve been made with this movie.

The origin story of Willy Wonka and his start with trying to get a chocolate shop.

At the beginning of Wonka, Willy Wonka is on a ship for Europe and ready to make magic happen. He’s been wandering the world in search of the perfect ingredients for chocolate, and when the ship lands at the dock, he plans of opening his shop at the Galeries Gourmet. Located at the center of a plaza, it’s the perfect place.

He has an entire little number looking up at the shop, loses all of his money due to stupid means, like paying the shoe shine boy way too much and dropping his last coin down a drain, and then ends up being lured inside of a boarding house.

Despite being suspicious of the fine print, he signs the contract the owner gives him.

Turns out Willy is illiterate, which’ll lead to some major problems. The next day, he heads into town and sells his chocolates that make people fly. The three big chocolate shop owners show up and mock him, saying he culd never amount to them basically, and then the Chief of Police takes all of the money Wonka earned.

He returns home sad about the events, but then the boarding house owner reveals that because he could not pay for the room, he is now in debt. She also charges him a ton of fees, and then sends him down to the laundry room with the other poor souls forced to work for her.

Noodle, a little girl who also is stuck at the boarding house, befriends Wonka—earlier she tried to warn him to read the small print, but he couldn’t.

Together, they learn about the Chocolate Cartel, which are the three major chocolatiers who run this town’s chocolate business. They’re bribing the Chief of Police with chocolate, which is how they harassed Wonka.

Wonka escapes with Noodle’s help, as he tells her he can offer her a lifetime supply of chocolate. The Chocolatiers try to get the police head to run Wonka out of town, yet he still ventures out to sell chocolate.

Along the way, he tells Noodle about his beloved mother, who instilled a love for chocolate in him. We also learn of the strange orange man who steals his chocolate while Wonka’s sleeping.

Noodle starts teaching him how to read, and they break into the zoo to milk the giraffe. With the help of the other indentured laundry workers, they continue selling chocolate, utilizing the sewers in order to evade capture by the police.

Wonka also meets the Oompa Loompa who’s been stalking him, and discovers that because he stole their cocoa beans, the Oompa Loompa will continue to steal from him until he gets the equivalent.

The crew eventually makes enough money to open their shop, but are sabotaged by the Chocolatiers. Wonka finally agrees to leave town if it means the other workers are free from their contracts and Noodle is returned to her mother, but the ship he’s in is scheduled to blow up.

With the Oompa Loompa, he escapes and makes his way back to his friends.

They decide to break into the church with the incriminating ledger describing all of the Chocolatiers’ nefarious deeds, but Noodle and Willy are caught, ultimately locked into a room filling with chocolate.

As they start to drown, the Oompa Loompa saves them, the Chocolatiers are caught, and the boarding house owner and her lackey are arrested. Noodle is also reunited with her mother, and Wonka tells the Oompa Loompa his plan to open a factory.

Overall Thoughts

I can see how people would like this movie, but, I thought the musical numbers were quite boring and the story was so predictable. It’s a nostalgic feel good movie, that’s for sure.

I don’t think I’d want to see Chalamet in a movie where he sings again, so I’ll happily avoid those for the next twenty years or so. The production value on this movie was decent, though.

All in all, I’m happy I saw it, but I didn’t really care for this movie. If you did, great! Neither of us are wrong, that’s for sure. We just have different taste.

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